You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
