Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
