When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
