Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
