i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
