It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
