Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
