Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
