I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
