I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
