we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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