I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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