You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
