Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
