i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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