At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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