dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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