Yo dont text me then not text me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
