You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
