I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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