hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
