A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
