I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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