I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
