I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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