I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You are a genius and a whore.
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