What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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