all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
