I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize