i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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