I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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