Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
