you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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