Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
