Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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