I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
