Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
