My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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