im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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