What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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