remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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