WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
