He is an equal opportunity slut.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
