I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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