Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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