i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize