I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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