I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
