Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
