Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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