No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
3pm strippers are depressing
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
