If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
