Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
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Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
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he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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