literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
