at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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