I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
