I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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