Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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