Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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