I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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