I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i black out too much to be "responsible"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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