2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
