My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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