Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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