just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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